She Had To Do It
by mmooch
Summary: Maybe Buffy had a good reason for hiding Angel when he came back from hell that she couldn't tell anyone. Set during 'Revelations'. My Rating: about PG-13
1. Prologue

**She Had To Do It**

Story Rating: PG-13

Story Summary: Maybe Buffy had a good reason for hiding Angel when he came back from hell that she couldn't tell anyone. Set during 'Revelations'.

Story Warnings: Angsty, Some Swearing, Character Deaths, Violence – implied or explict

Story Spoilers: Up to Season 3 BtVS and a little from all Seasons of Angel

Story Disclaimer: Just borrowing from Joss and his kind.

_**Prologue**_

_**At the library, just after Xander has told everyone about seeing Buffy and Angel together in the mansion.**_

_Buffy: (hesitantly) I just wanted to wait..._

_Xander: (angrily) For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy? _

_**Later in private:**_

_Giles: (crossly) I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But, sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... For hours... For pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect…for me _or_ the job I perform._


	2. Chapter 1: Why Did She Do It?

Rating: PG-13 due to swearing

Summary: Explanation for what she did. PTB Powers That Be

Warning: Swearing

**Chapter 1: Why Did She Do It?**

**That night in Buffy's dreams**

Buffy: (enraged) Alright you SOBs! I've done what you asked! This better have been the right thing to do or I swear I will hunt you down and beat the crap out of you, _'Powers That Be'_ or not!

PTB: (calmly) You would like some assurance that your action was correct?

Buffy: Since they hate me and will probably never trust me again – _especially_ Giles – damn straight I'd like _'some_ _assurance'!_

PTB: What do you think would have happened if you told everyone right away? Or even had told only Giles?

Buffy: (quieter but now also saddened) I don't know, but at least things would be better for the gang. I suppose it's possible that they would have just gone and staked Angel before he could get loose.

PTB: Why didn't you? Certainly you could have overpowered him. You were able to chain him up after all.

Buffy: Because I wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. I didn't know how or why he came back. Until I knew that, I didn't want to do anything except contain him.

PTB: And you weren't sure that the others could have understood that?

Buffy: (uncertainly) That…and _maybe_ I was a little afraid that they would say that I was letting my feelings ruin my judgment where Angel's concerned. But they _would_ be right about that.

PTB: So if Giles had gone there and staked him, you would have agreed with him? You don't think his judgment would have been impaired by his feelings? Or Xander's…or Willow's, or anyone else's? You know, as far as Faith is concerned, she hasn't dealt with any 'good' demons. To her, it is a 'stake first and ask _no_ questions later'. She has a 'the only good demon is a dead demon' mindset. But you've learned that sometimes the line can be blurry. Or that sometimes there can be special circumstances.

Buffy: Okay, I'll agree with you that Faith's judgment is wacky and Xander's jealousy toward Angel would make him overly biased, but I trust the others to do the right thing regardless of their personal feelings…especially Giles.

PTB: Then let's see what would have happened…


	3. Chapter 2: Giles' Reaction

Rating: PG-13 due to quick violence and character death

Summary: How Giles reacted to Angel being back. Very short chapter

Spoilers: up to Season 3 BtVS

Warning: Quick violence, Character Death

_**Chapter 2: Giles' Reaction**_

_Buffy: (timidly) Giles, I have to tell you something that happened last night on patrol. Angel is back. He seems different – than either Angel _or_ Angelus. I chained him up at the mansion until we can decide what to do with him. I mean, there must be a reason he's back, right? Once we find out if that is for good or evil, then we'll know how to handle it._

_**Mansion later that day…**_

_Giles: (with furious resolve) To be honest Angel – or Angelus, whoever you are – I don't _care_ why you're back. You cause too much suffering as either persona._

_**He aims the crossbow and shoots Angel, dusting him.**_

--

PTB: Your confidence in him is inspiring. However, you must remember that he is merely human and that he _is_ capable of making a mistake, however honorable his intentions are.

Buffy: (confused) So you are saying that staking Angel is the wrong thing to do?

PTB: We're saying that you don't know that yet.

Buffy: Could you maybe give me a clue or something?

PTB: As you wish. Here are some events from a future where he is allowed to exist…


	4. Chapter 3: Lives Touched By Angel

Rating: PG

Summary: Whose lives were helped by Angel's continued struggle for redemption. Hint, you won't understand anything if you haven't seen the episodes.

Spoilers: up to Season 3 BtVS and a little from all Seasons of Angel

Warning: Implied Violence

_**Chapter 3: Lives Touched by Angel**_

_A montage of scenes where Angel has played a crucial part in protecting or saving others starts beginning with this episode:_

'_Revelations' – retrieving & destroying Glove of Myhnegon…_

'_Amends' – conversation with the first…_

'_Consequences' – attempt to save Faith…_

'_Doppelgangland' – warning about Willow…_

'_Earshot' – retrieving the cure for Buffy…_

'_Graduation Day (1 & 2)' – his assistance in the fight…_

_Then continues with _'Angel'_ episodes: _

'_City of' – saving Cordelia…_

'_Lonely Hearts' – stopping serial killer demon…_

'_I Fall To Pieces' – killing stalker doctor…_

'_Five by Five' – helping Faith…_

'_War Zone' – keeping Gunn and his crew from being destroyed…_

'_Happy Anniversary' – obstructing the heartbroken physicist from obliterating the universe…_

'_The Thin Dead Line' – demolishing the altar that controls the zombie cops…_

'_There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb' – saving Fred…_

'_Double or Nothing' – saving Gunn's soul…_

'_Supersymmetry' – stopping Fred's professor at seminar…_

'_Conviction' – taking out the cleaning crew from Wolfram & Hart when they attack the school…_

'_Unleashed' – helping werewolf Nina…_

'_Damage' – capturing the unstable Potential Slayer…_

'_Smile Time' – preventing the evil cartoon from harming children…_

--

Buffy: So what you are trying to tell me with these images is that he _will_ do good? Help other people?

PTB: Not just other people; he helps you survive on a number of occasions.

Buffy: That's not a big deal.

PTB: You don't care about your own future?

Buffy: (wearily) From the first time that I was told of my calling, it was made perfectly clear to me that I had no future. That if I made it to my 20th birthday, it would be a miracle. So yeah, there's no point in worrying about _my_ future since it probably will only be another few years. You know, _'One Slayer dies, another is called.'_

PTB: A future doesn't have to be 50 years to be worthwhile. Sometimes a matter of 1 day is enough to make a difference…both personally and to others around you. However, there is another reason for hiding Angel…Giles.

--

_**(A/N: I know there were other BtVS and Angel episodes but these were the ones I liked best.)**_


	5. Chapter 4: Saving Giles

Rating: PG-13

Summary: How this affects Giles' future.

Spoilers: up to Season 3 BtVS

Warning: Extreme Angst, Character Death

**Chapter 4: Saving Giles**

Buffy: (fearfully) What about Giles? Does he die trying to stake Angel or something?

PTB: No, he succeeds in _that,_ only to die after betraying you in the future.

Buffy: (vehemently) He'd never do that! You're lying! He's too good of a man for that!

PTB: Again your devotion and loyalty is astounding. But he _does_ betray you…very reluctantly and tries to redeem himself afterward. He manages to do so – to a point. However he allows his guilt to consume him, causing a fatal accident…

--

_**As he's cleaning up her cuts in the library…**_

_Buffy: They can't really take you away from me, can they?_

_Giles: They can replace me as your Watcher, but I'll stay as long as you want me to stay. If this has taught _me_ anything, it's that my loyalty is to you, not the Council. I hope that someday you might be able to trust me a little. Forgiveness is impossible but I'd still like the chance to work by your side._

_Buffy: (grabs his hand) Hey, I get to decide what is forgivable and what isn't. I've done awful things too and you've forgiven me. I'd rather not re-hash them right now but we both can guess what some of the worst of them are. This was wrong, horrible even, but it isn't unforgivable. And you did help us when we needed it. You helped us survive. Obviously if you've ticked off that Travers guy that much, it means you aren't like 'them'. I don't think he'd care if Kralik killed half of Sunnydale for the sake of his precious test. But I do forgive you._

_Giles: But you can't_ trust _me…_

_Buffy: Honestly, it will take a little while for me to trust you _completely_ again, but I'm sure it _will_ happen…and sooner rather than later._

--

___**That evening Giles is in his apartment alone, drinking heavily and muttering to himself about betraying Buffy.**_

_Giles: No I can't make up for this. She's wrong; her mistakes were just that…mistakes. She made bad decisions based either on too little information or when she was overwhelmed by extreme emotions and lack of life experiences._

_I was lucky to get her trust back after Eyghon. But this…this was a deliberate choice to betray her. And it almost cost her her life and the life of her mother. I don't deserve her forgiveness._

_She deserves a better Watcher. As long as she has her friends to protect her, the Watcher she gets will – at worst – be an annoyance to her. But having me around will only serve to make her wonder if she can trust _anything_ I tell her. A new Watcher will definitely serve her better._

_But on the other hand, I did pledge to never leave her unless she asks me to. I can't betray that promise either. If I can help it, I'll never hurt her again._

_**He keeps drinking, trying to figure out what to do. Finally he decides to go to bed. He only makes it halfway up the stairs before he loses his balance and falls backward. When he hit the floor he smacked his head against the wall. The injury aggravated his earlier injury head injury. This increase causes an aneurysm and he is dead within seconds.**_

--

**(A/N: Medically speaking, I don't know if it could happen, but it sounds rational to me.)**


	6. Chapter 5: No Other Way

Rating: PG

Summary: Reason why this is the only option.

Spoilers: up to Season 3 BtVS

Warning: Angst

**Chapter 5: No Other Way**

Buffy: (sobbing) Can't I just stay with him to keep that from happening? Betraying him can't be the _only_ way to save his life.

PTB: Remember, his death isn't the only reason for doing this. Angel's destiny and all those he touches hinge on this as well.

Buffy: (sulking) This isn't fair! Can't you stop him from betraying me _instead?_

PTB: Unfortunately, that wouldn't work. If he didn't betray you, then even more people would be at risk and he wouldn't have been able to come to your rescue. You and many others would have died.

Buffy: (sadly) Will I at least ever be able to tell anyone why I did this? It hurts so much that they hate me.

PTB: No…they can never know the truth. At least not now.

Buffy: (downcast) Well, this sucks.

--

**(A/N: I'm considering making this a series. Whenever Buffy – or possibly others – make a decision that doesn't make sense, this will be used to explain their actions. What do you think of that idea?)**

**THE END**


End file.
